Hi everyone, I’m a compulsive overeater and food addict. I’ve been in OA for about six years, and during that time I’ve gone through all the steps more than once. I’m not cured, and lately I’ve been feeling anxiety crop up—that’s my reminder that it might be time to do another step study. 
 
Recovery hasn’t made me immune from fear, sadness, or pain. Life still shows up. But what OA gives me is a way to notice when those feelings start to take over and, instead of turning to food, use the tools of recovery. Writing and service are two of those tools.
 
Writing helps me make sense of my feelings and behaviors in a way that thinking or even talking sometimes doesn’t. I blog, and I also text fellows every morning to share my thoughts, feelings, fears, and to admit my mistakes. Sharing my blog is one way I practice service—by carrying the message of experience, strength, and hope. I’m not an expert, but I know how much it helps me when others share honestly, so I do the same. For me, it’s a way of paying it forward and keeping recovery alive.
 
This morning, after I did my prayers, I recognized that I needed to turn to writing and to be honest with myself. I need to work the steps every day—not just when it’s convenient to me.
 
Early on, I resisted this idea. I wanted to “graduate,” be cured, and move on. That thinking kept me stuck for years, falling in and out of abstinence and wondering why recovery wasn’t working for me. The truth was, I wasn’t being honest with myself and wasn’t fully working the program.
 
What I’ve learned now is that recovery is straightforward, but not easy. It takes time, effort, and willingness—like going to the gym. You don’t get fit after one workout, and the first weeks can be painful. But if you keep showing up, the results come. There’s no shortcut. 
 
I sometimes feel sad knowing I’ll never be cured of this disease. But I also know I can manage it, and that gives my life purpose and direction—something I didn’t have before. This program is like my daily medicine. If I stop taking it, I slip back into compulsive overeating, weight gain, and my relationships suffer. Quickly, my life becomes unmanageable. I don’t want to go back there, and that’s what keeps me in the program.
 
I may never say I’m “recovered,” but I can say that I am recovering—and that the promises come true for me when I work the steps each day. For that, I’m grateful.

​When I first came into program, I struggled giving up on certain foods. I spent many years in denial, lying to myself about what foods I could and couldn’t eat and what constituted abstinence me. I don’t adopt to the red, amber, green food principle, because I truly believe that there are certain foods I simply cannot eat anymore. It’s either off limits or okay for me to eat. Black and white with no in-between.  
 
Sugar and white flour are both foods that trigger an abnormal response in my body and brain. That’s why I consider myself allergic to them. But my denial was that potato chips and fries were not in the same category. That didn’t serve me very well, and eventually, I admitted to myself that they had the same effect on me as sugar.  That’s about the time when I got truly abstinent (around six months ago) and started seeing success in this program. 
 
But then, something started to change. Potato chips and fries started to creep back into my diet—almost unconsciously.
 
It all started when I told myself that eating chips that weren’t made of potatoes was okay. That if they were made from chickpea or casava then they were “different.” Over time, as I became less strict, I found myself back to eating regular potato chips and fries again. I wasn’t bingeing uncontrollably or gaining massive amounts of weight—but something had shifted.
 
Then, the insanity and mental obsession started to return. And with it, so did familiar struggles. 
 
I noticed that my anxiety at work was returning, and my stress levels were increasing. I was running into conflict daily and I could feel anger, irritability, resentment, and fear creeping in. I was feeling compelled to “win” and retaliate, causing hurt to others again. 
 
One other sign that something was wrong was that I began chewing the skin on my fingers again—something I hadn’t done in a long time. They became raw and painful and were constantly bleeding. I realized I had simply swapped one form of self-harm for another. I had swapped food for fingers! 
 
Through daily prayer and meditation, going to meetings, and working the program, I realized that there was one solution—turn it over to my higher power and let go. I then stopped, paused, and I made time to listen. 
 
What I heard was that I was essentially self-harming. Doing to myself what I was doing before with food. Except this time, in addition to using food to numb the pain, I was also using my fingers! That’s the point when I realized I needed to be kind, loving, and stop self-harming. Not tomorrow, not next week, but right away. And of course, I needed to stop eating potatoes and fries. 
 
My higher power reminded me that I should stop immediately because I’m worthy of a life free of pain and anxiety. That I shouldn’t harm myself and that I had the ability to stop—it was all within my control. I deserve to be kind, loving, and gentle to myself and others. 
 
So, with the help from my Higher Power, I stopped eating the chips and fries and stopped chewing my fingers. My fingers have healed, and things started to get better at work. The mental obsession has almost gone, and I feel like myself again. 
 
It’s reassuring knowing that I don’t have to use imperfect abstinence as an excuse to binge and put on the weight anymore—something that I had always done in the past. But I was somewhat defeated about this idea that I no longer had six months of perfect abstinence. Should I just ignore my blip and carry on? Or just admit to myself and others that I have continuous abstinence, but it’s not always been perfect. 
 
The truth is, I cannot lie to myself or others anymore, as it doesn’t serve me. Therefore, if anyone asks, I will explain that I am abstinent and that I have been for over six months. But have I been perfect? No. But that doesn’t mean I have to punish myself, face fear, shame and embarrassment of saying I “fell off the wagon” again? Also, no. I have had success in this program and continue to do so. I was able to spot the path of self-destruction and intercept it, this time much sooner than I’ve been able to do before.  
 
What I can say is that I clearly needed a reminder that my abstinent list of foods isn’t negotiable. A slip up is just that. It doesn’t mean I have to reset the clock and give myself another excuse to give up. It’s just another reminder that I have to take this program one day at a time and recognize that this disease is cunning and baffling at times. But there is a solution (thankfully) and all I have to do is work the steps and listen to my higher power. And, just for today, I fully surrender. 

Hi there, I’m a compulsive overeater and food addict, taking it one day at a time. I’m on day 155 of abstinence from my food addiction and binge eating. As of today, I’ve released 25% of my excess body weight. I feel lighter, not just because I’m less heavy than I was before, but also because I feel lighter in spirit. 
 
I thought that all my problems in life would go away when I lost weight. Turns out, that wasn’t true. I had lost the weight before—in fact, many times before. I was a yo-yo dieter, and I had strong will power. My will power was so strong at times that I could restrict my eating and lose weight really fast. But I always gained it back eventually. 
 
When I came to OA, I managed to lose the weight. But, like all the other diets that had failed me, I “fell off the wagon” and figured OA wasn’t for me. But the problem I had was my will power again. My will to go back to compulsive overeating was as strong as my will to stop. It was only when I realized that I couldn’t do this using my will power alone that things started to change. 
 
So, I lost the weight, gave up on trying to rely on will power alone, and turned to a power greater than myself by following the 12-steps. I followed the program “religiously” after many years of faking it. I stopped looking at OA as another diet and quickly, over time, things started to get easier for me. The food cravings went away, the mental obsession quietened, and the inability to control my emotions lessened. 
 
While I was able to look at the world differently, the world didn’t change around me. I still face challenges that come with life. I still encounter stresses at work. I still face challenges dealing with certain situations. And there are still things happening in the world that caused me fear, frustration, and anxiety. Rarely did things always go my way. But rather than turn to food as a solution to numb the pain, I’m now able to deal with them head on. That’s sometimes challenging and requires a lot of work at times. But I now have a solution and for that I am grateful. 
 
For me, the effort is worth the reward, but it requires rigorous honesty with myself. I can choose to take the easy path by turning to food, ignoring the problem, and lying to myself. But then I have to face the pain of my actions. Now, I choose the path that many have taken before me, which is to work the steps and turn my will and my life over to a power greater than myself. This program really works for me, but only if I work at it every day. 
 
I’d like to think that if I can do it, anyone can do it. But I had to let go of the fact that it was going to be easy all the time. Most of the time, it’s effortless to me now. 
 
I follow the steps daily, practice the principles in all my affairs, and deal with my fears, frustrations, and anxiety without the need for food. But at times, it’s hard for me, because I know that I am stubborn. This is probably a life-long disease for me. I’ve come to accept that, and it doesn’t bother me anymore, because I have a solution that makes it manageable. And while that solution isn’t always easy, it is straightforward, and thankfully I don’t have to rely on myself anymore. 

Hi everyone, I’m a compulsive overeater and food addict, working the steps, and taking it one day at a time. I’m sharing something that stood out to me today about how I need to be in life, which I am learning to accept on life’s terms. 
 
I woke up really early this morning, unable to get back to sleep. This isn’t uncommon for me—except rather trying to fight to get back to sleep, I got up and did my morning routine, consisting of daily prayers and meditation. 
 
During my morning routine, something stood out for me today—the need to practice patience, tolerance, kindness and love. This is something I remind myself about every single day when I wake up, because I say the prayer:  

But for reason, the words at the end of this prayer stood out to me today. This sometimes happens when I take the time to listen to my higher power during my daily prayer and meditation. 
 
I will confess that I’ve never really considered myself someone who is that patient, tolerant, kind or loving. It pains me to say this because I do want to be all these things. But when I’m trying to control the world around me, I’m often frustrated, angry, and belligerent towards others when things don’t go my way. I find that when I’m not working the steps, I become judgemental and critical of others, and the person I show the least kindness to is myself. 
 
When I let go of all these things and turn my will and my life over to the care of a power greater than myself, things get easier. If you’re not a member of overeaters anonymous, or you’re new to program, you may think I sound a bit cuckoo. How can I turn my life over to a “higher power” and what is that anyway? Probably a topic for another blog post! But for today, what it means for me is that I need to just stop fighting the fight with myself. Much like I didn’t try and fight to get back to sleep this morning, I need to stop fighting with others too. 
 
This program of recovery from compulsive overeating and food addiction has taught me how to let go. It’s given me the practical tools I need to live my life in a way that was different than I how I was living it before. I feel like I now have a life that is much better than the one I had before, and for that I am grateful. 
 
What’s interesting is that my friends and family have now noticed a difference in me over a longer period of time. I am less argumentative, belligerent, and I probably come across as more calm, relaxed, and less stressed. That’s because truthfully, I am all those things. I feel like I finally have a solution to the problems that have been holding me back most of my life. 
 
So, it’s not always about the food for me. That’s a big part of it. But for today, it’s about letting go and reminding myself that I can demonstrate patience, tolerance, kindness and love.
 
Thanks for listening to me ramble on today. I’d love to hear your stories of patience, tolerance, kindness and love. You can use the comments below or share your own blog post on this site by emailing [email protected]. ​

Hi everyone, I’m a compulsive overeater and food addict, and I’ve been in OA for about six years now. My addictive behaviours around food and eating have controlled me most of my life. Before OA, I had tried everything. Every diet, self-help book, and hours of therapy. Over the years, I had managed to lose substantial amounts of weight and keep it off for a while. But eventually, I’d put the weight back on and return to my old ways. Nothing seemed to stick. That was until I joined Overeaters Anonymous. 
 
Other than putting down my addictive foods, one of my biggest challenges was working the steps. I heard many times in the OA rooms that it’s not easy, but it is straightforward and simple—if you work the steps, you will find recovery. I now agree with that. But when I first started out, I found it impossible to work the steps and blamed the program for my lack of recovery. But it wasn’t the program, it was me. 
 
I struggled with most of the steps, in particular Steps 8 and 9. Once I pushed through, I then found myself struggling with Step 11:
 
“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”

Taking time to do daily meditation and prayer each day felt like someone was asking me to climb Mount Everest. I just couldn’t do it. At the time, the other steps felt like a one and done, but I feared and resented having to do Step 11—it felt like I was being asked to make a lifelong commitment when all I really wanted to do was “graduate” from OA and not have to think about the steps anymore!  
 
Now, I was no stranger to meditation. I tried very hard to build a habit of meditation in the past and had some success. But like my abstinence, I seemed to flip flop, in and out. I’d be super motivated, relying on self-will, which I could do for a while. I’d go a week, maybe two, where I’d meditate every day without fail. But I struggled with my racing mind, not being able to sit still or fidget. Then, I’d give up, miss a day, and feel like it’s not working or worth it. My excuse was what I heard about meditation—that it only works if you build up a daily habit. You can’t expect it to work if you dabble here and there. 
 
That excuse stuck with me. I’d forget to do it one day and then I’d give up. I’ve always had a problem with routine and building habits. I find that when I’m not in recovery, I’m lazy, lack motivation, cynical, distracted. I am ADHD and I did and do suffer from anxiety. But somehow, I managed to breakthrough the cycle, and now I've been meditating and praying every morning for approximately 93 days. And I’m abstinent and in recovery, and I’m at peace with myself. I’ve found serenity. 
 
So, how did I manage to do it? Well, for me, it came down to some of the basic principles of the program. One day at a time. Practice over perfection. Turning my will and my life over to a power greater than myself. Also, recognizing that I’m not doing it for me, I’m doing it for the sake of others. I’m a horrible person when I’m not in recovery. I’m also a compassionate, loving, caring person, and it pains me greatly to know that I’m hurting others. I reminded myself of that every time my excuses popped into my head. The answer for me was to just let go and let God and make it the very first thing I do when I wake up in the morning. 
 
I’ll be honest and say that there have been a few days where I’ve forgotten to do my daily prayers and meditation. Those are the days when I notice I’m more irritated, fearful, and discontent. It usually happens when my routine changes unexpectedly. But I also read something about building habits that also stuck with me. It said building habits is easier when you connect it to something else you do. And know that you’ll never be perfect—but recognize that if you let something slip or slide for one day, it’s a dam sight easier to get it back on track than if you let it go two, three or four or more days. 
 
Now, if I forget to pray or meditate, I don’t let it slip for long. It’s the same with my abstinence. I’ve had somewhat perfect abstinence for the most part. But I have eaten my less addictive foods on one or two occasions, thinking it would be okay, only to realize that it’s not and I want more. Then, I know I must lean in on the program and remind myself that a slip isn’t a fall off the wagon. I just need to remember to take it one day at a time. Working hard for me is turning to the tools of recovery, praying and meditating more, and getting out of my own head by going to a meeting and doing something to help others.
 
Meditation and prayer for me is a way to connect to my higher power daily. To remain in fit spiritual condition and turn my will and my life over to the care of my God. It’s now effortless and I enjoy it. I have a few prayers I read daily, and sometimes I just go through the motions. But other days I stop and find deeper meaning in the words in relation to what’s happening in my life. It’s honestly like taking a calming pill at the beginning of the day that sets me up for success. And success for me is having a higher state of consciousness where I can be of maximum use to others.

Hi everyone, I’m a compulsive overeater and food addict. It’s been about nine months since I posted on this blog. The reason is that I’ve spent the last 9 months “in the food.” I’ve been overeating, binging and feeling like I’ve got nothing to say that would offer strength and hope. But that’s what happens when I turn my back on this program. I become restless, irritable, and discontent, focused on myself and not others. 
 
So, today is a new year, and I’m in a much better place. I’ve been abstinent and spiritually fit for 47 days and I’m finally starting to feel like myself again. The weight is coming off and I’m feeling serenity. I’m also feeling the strength to start sharing my story again¾something that I try to do at regular Overeaters Anonymous meetings and by reaching out via text and phone to fellows. I do this as part of my step 12:
 
“Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to compulsive overeaters, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.” (Source: The Twelve Steps of Overeaters Anonymous).
 
I also recognize that I must make the time to work the steps every single day. There’s no vacation from it for me and I know that this is my way of life. But it’s a life that I prefer over the life I had, which was characterized by days, weeks and months of feeling tired, not wanting to get off the couch, feeling mad at myself and the world, and not being a good friend, partner, or employee. That’s not who I am, and I know that it’s who I become when I’m relying on myself and not this program. 
 
So, while I know I’m far from perfect, I also recognize that my brain can come up with any excuse for why I can’t do the simple things in life. Like getting up and meditating every day, going to meetings, and providing service etc. When I stop doing these things, I slip back into old patterns of behaviours. And once I’m back there, it’s incredibly hard for me to pull myself out of the black hole. On more than one occasion over the years, I’ve let myself reach the point of shear desperation and despair. But every time I manage to pull myself out of that hole, I learn another lesson and remember why it’s just not worth it to go back there again. 
 
I know a lot of people blog, journal and write to put their feelings down on paper. It can help us better understand our actions and reactions in a way that is often not revealed by simply thinking about them. I also know that when I share how I’m feeling it can help others who are feeling the same. That’s my hope in life. To do something for others and give back in a way that feels genuine, honest and authentic to me. 
 
If you’re new to Overeaters Anonymous, or you’re looking to start out again, come along to one of our meetings. It takes time, and there’s no quick fix. But there is a solution and way of life that provides an alternative to the one I had, which was no fun. 
 
I’m not sure what 2025 will bring. I trust that my higher power will guide me. And for today, I’ll just remember that I’m no longer running the show. I am no longer alone on this journey. I have hope, faith, and a new spiritual awareness that is all thanks to this program of recovery. For that I am grateful. 

​Hello, I’m a compulsive overeater and food addict. I started this blog a year ago and told myself I’d do an update each month. I lasted about a month, which is pretty typical for me, especially when I’m not in recovery! 
 
I spent the best part of last year “off the waggon” and binge eating. I initially worked the steps, but then gave up. Why? I guess I figured that once I’d lost the weight, I’d be able to keep it off without doing any of the work. I also thought I could get away with eating foods on my abstinence list. That wasn’t the case. I took one, then another, and then another bite of a food on my abstinence list, and the rest was a painful history. A year later, and 60lb heavier, I’ve learned my lesson! 
 
Since the end of January, I’ve managed to get back “on the waggon” by working the steps and going to meetings. It was incredibly hard at first, but people kept telling me to go to meetings, which I did, and I kept coming back. It took some time, but I now feel part of something again, and I’m now working on my recovery every day. The weight is slowly coming off, which is great. But I’m feeling serenity again, something that is more important to me than the weight loss now. 
 
In my first blog, I did an open invitation for those recovering from compulsive eating and/or compulsive food behaviours to send me their blog ideas by emailing [email protected]. That open invitation still stands!  
 
If you’re recovering from compulsive eating and/or compulsive food behaviours by working the Twelve Steps, I encourage you to contribute to this blog by sharing your experience, strength, and hope to those still suffering. You can remain anonymous or state your first name – it’s up to you. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities (Tradition Twelve).
 
To all those who have contributed to this blog so far, thank you. I endeavor to provide more updates, more often, and welcome your ongoing support. Writing is one of the tools I’m using for my own personal recovery. Also, providing service, which is what I see this blog is hopefully doing – reaching out to fellow sufferers adds to the quality of my own recovery – and I hope yours too! 

Hi there, I’m a compulsive overeater and food addict, and I’ve been part of this fellowship for about five years now. During that time, I’ve found a solution to my insanity when it comes to eating. I’ve also changed my relationship with food and people. I’m now living the life I feel I deserved, which isn’t controlled by food. Even better, I now have a way of dealing with my anxiety, stress, fears, resentments, and anger. And that’s one of the reasons I’m sticking with OA as a way of life. 
 
When I came into OA, I was pretty desperate. I couldn’t stop eating certain foods. I felt completely addicted, as if there was nothing in this world that could stop me eating.

​I’d go out of my way to eat certain foods, specifically chocolate, candy, pizza, bread, chips, pastries, cookies, and donuts. Basically, anything that had the right combination of sugar, carbs, and fat. I’d eat to the point where I’d feel physically sick, and even then, I’d sometimes keep eating. It was as if I was possessed, like a zombie. I often felt as if someone or something had taken over my body and was forcing me to eat. Even though my rational brain was saying no, no, no, stop, you’re killing yourself. 
 
Since joining OA, I’ve come to learn that I’m allergic to certain foods, and I can’t eat them. They don’t give me hives or make me sneeze - but I do have an adverse reaction. For me, the reaction happens in my brain and my body. When I eat these foods, my body and my brain physically and mentally craves more - to the point where I can’t stop from starting, and when I start, I can’t stop. 
 
So how did I stop? Well, getting off the foods was straightforward at first. I just had to not eat them for one day. Then, when I got through that day, I just had to get through another, and another, until about a week had passed. The physical cravings subsided, and next, I had to tackle the mental obsession. To deal with that, I attended OA meetings, got a sponsor (by just asking someone who was available to sponsor), and worked the steps. 
 
The promises came true for me at first. Then, I stopped working the steps, thinking I was cured. Slowly, but surly, the cravings came back, and my insanity around food returned.

Second time around, it was harder, because I knew what I had to do, and I resisted. Mainly because the high I got from eating these foods felt like the most important thing in my life and I didn’t want to give that up. I didn’t want to be fat and miserable, but I also didn't want to give up the food. I literally wanted to have my cake and eat it! 
 
Getting back off the addictive foods for the second, third and possibly fourth time was incredibly hard for me. But I became so desperate again, that I felt there was no other path for me if I wanted to live a life that wasn’t misery and despair.

When I ate the foods, I felt good at first, but it was short lived. I needed to keep eating to feel good, but I never felt good for long. That’s now changed. Today, I feel good, and not because I’m stuffing my face with the foods that were killing me. 
 
Giving up certain foods seemed impossible back when I was eating them. Now, I know that one bite, and it’s game over. As long as I remain honest to myself, work the steps, trust in a power greater than myself, I’ll remain sane. My life is better for it and I know that this program of recovery works, because I’ve seen it, and experienced it for myself.

If you want to experience it too, try going to an OA meeting. You’ve got nothing to lose, except the weight! 

Hello I am a recovering compulsive overeater and food addict.

This morning I was listening to a podcast on the forward to the 1st Edition of the Big Book. The podcaster was focusing on the purpose of the Big Book and the importance of following directions. Ah, directions, it’s something I continue to wrestle with, given my ego and belief around my status as special snowflake in recovery.

In the Big Book we are asked to pay particular attention to italics, so when Bill wrote “precisely how we recovered” I need to take him at his word. Precisely. I need to follow the simple set of directions, as outlined in the book, precisely. And yet, I want to show up in working my steps as
a negotiator. Precisely, really? Is there no room for creativity?

This idea of precisely had me thinking about a conversation I overhead between two of my favourite nieces. One is a cook and the other a baker. Actually, they are so much more than bakers and cooks and I have the privilege of watching them grow in their relationship with each
other. Notice I am digressing from my point about precision. Back to their overheard conversation, the cook said something like “I dislike baking, it’s so rigid” and the baker responded with “Sister it’s a science, it has to be exact, it’s based on chemical reactions, you can’t substitute ingredients like you do in cooking”

And there it is, I want to substitute, be creative, I want to cook up my own program. The
directions are simple, if I want what the first 100 had, I must do what they did. So, the simple
instructions I need to follow when it comes to my recovery are; be a baker, do not be a cook.
Because, if I follow the recipe as outlined in the big book, I am guaranteed recovery.