Hello my name is Zayna and I am a recovering compulsive overeater and food addict.
This morning I was listening to a podcast on the forward to the 1 st Edition of the Big Book. The
podcaster was focusing on the purpose of the Big Book and the importance of following
directions. Ah, directions, it’s something I continue to wrestle with, given my ego and belief
around my status as special snowflake in recovery.
In the Big Book we are asked to pay particular attention to italics, so when Bill wrote “precisely
how we recovered” I need to take him at his word. Precisely. I need to follow the simple set of
directions, as outlined in the book, precisely. And yet, I want to show up in working my steps as
a negotiator. Precisely, really? Is there no room for creativity?
This idea of precisely had me thinking about a conversation I overhead between two of my
favourite nieces. One is a cook and the other a baker. Actually, they are so much more than
bakers and cooks and I have the privilege of watching them grow in their relationship with each
other. Notice I am digressing from my point about precision. Back to their overheard
conversation, the cook said something like “I dislike baking, it’s so rigid” and the baker
responded with “Sister it’s a science, it has to be exact, it’s based on chemical reactions, you
can’t substitute ingredients like you do in cooking”
And there it is, I want to substitute, be creative, I want to cook up my own program. The
directions are simple, if I want what the first 100 had, I must do what they did. So, the simple
instructions I need to follow when it comes to my recovery are; be a baker, do not be a cook.
Because, if I follow the recipe as outlined in the big book, I am guaranteed recovery.
Registered Intergroup #09217