Hi there, I’m Phil, and I’m a compulsive overeater and food addict. I’ve been abstinent for about two months now. It doesn’t sound like a long time, but it’s a miracle for me, given how much I’ve struggled with food over the years. 
 
The current definition of abstinence, as defined by oa.org, is:
 
“The action of refraining from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviours while working towards or maintaining a healthy body weight.”
 
When I first started out in OA, I drew up a list of foods that I felt needed to be on my abstinence list. These were things like potato chips, anything with white flour (e.g., bread, pastries, baked goods etc.), processed sugar (including artificial sweetener), potato chips, fries and salted or dry roasted peanuts. These are all foods that once I start eating, I can’t stop. So, I cut them out of my diet completely. 
 
Did I stick to my abstinence list in the early days? Nope! Slowly but surely, I allowed certain foods to creep in, making up excuses and exceptions for things that I was addicted to, but was in denial about, and desperately wanted to eat again. Then came the ongoing battle with cravings. For example, I had a long-standing relationship with protein shakes. They filled me up in the morning and tasted great. I had a cycle of using them to replace meals and lose weight – but the weight always came back on when I started eating again. 
 
The protein shakes I was drinking contained no artificial sugars, but instead, sweeteners like monk fruit. Drinking one of these each day made breakfast time quick and easy and helped me stay full until lunch. However, it also meant that by the time I got to lunch, I was craving something sweet. So, after what must be close to 15-20 years of having the same breakfast, I gave up protein shakes. 
 
I now follow the 3-0-1 plan of eating, which is basically three meals a day, no snacks, and one day at a time. For each meal, I try to follow some basic rules, which are two handfuls of fruit or vegetables, one palm of protein and one handful of complex carbs like brown rice. I try to plan out my food in advance and spend a lot more time preparing food for the week ahead. It ensures I’m not tempted to open the food apps and order something online. 
 
My morning routine takes a bit longer now I make breakfast and lunch to take to work. But it’s worth the time and effort I put in because it helps ensure I don’t slip. I remind myself that one slip could actually be months of pain and misery for me, because once I start, it’s very hard for me to stop.
 
Do I miss the foods on my abstinence list? Not really, not today anyway. I don’t have uncontrollable cravings like I used to. But if you had asked me that question in my first week, my answer would have been different. I had to work really hard to get over the cravings. I did that by increasing the volume of healthy food I ate during the first two weeks so that I remained full. After a couple of weeks, things started to get easier, and I felt like my sanity was slowly returning. 
 
I try to remind myself that I’m recovering but not cured – I’ll likely never be cured. I work the steps every day and try to remain in fit spiritual condition to maintain my abstinence, because my life depends on it. 
 
When I feel tempted to go back into old patterns and behaviours, I double down on my prayers and meditation, and turn my attention to helping others. I do a step 10, and if all else fails, I’ll pick up the phone, or read my notes from when I was binging. That helps me remind myself how painful it was when I was binging and how it’s just not worth it anymore. It’s a journey and I’m taking it one day at a time. 
 
I once read that you don’t work on being abstinent, you work on the steps, which helps keep you in fit spiritual condition. And as long as you’re in fit spiritual condition, you’re going to remain sane and free from the temptation and insanity that makes you eat compulsively. I’ll assume that’s true for me!  
 
In doing some research for this blog, I did come across this abstinence literature resource guide on the oa.org website. It includes a link to an abstinence PowerPoint presentation that I found useful. I wanted to share it in case you find it useful too! 

​Hello, I’m Phil, a compulsive overeater and food addict. I started this blog a year ago and told myself I’d do an update each month. I lasted about a month, which is pretty typical for me, especially when I’m not in recovery! 
 
I spent the best part of last year “off the waggon” and binge eating. I initially worked the steps, but then gave up. Why? I guess I figured that once I’d lost the weight, I’d be able to keep it off without doing any of the work. I also thought I could get away with eating foods on my abstinence list. That wasn’t the case. I took one, then another, and then another bite of a food on my abstinence list, and the rest was a painful history. A year later, and 60lb heavier, I’ve learned my lesson! 
 
Since the end of January, I’ve managed to get back “on the waggon” by working the steps and going to meetings. It was incredibly hard at first, but people kept telling me to go to meetings, which I did, and I kept coming back. It took some time, but I now feel part of something again, and I’m now working on my recovery every day. The weight is slowly coming off, which is great. But I’m feeling serenity again, something that is more important to me than the weight loss now. 
 
In my first blog, I did an open invitation for those recovering from compulsive eating and/or compulsive food behaviours to send me their blog ideas by emailing [email protected]. That open invitation still stands!  
 
If you’re recovering from compulsive eating and/or compulsive food behaviours by working the Twelve Steps, I encourage you to contribute to this blog by sharing your experience, strength, and hope to those still suffering. You can remain anonymous or state your first name – it’s up to you. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities (Tradition Twelve).
 
To all those who have contributed to this blog so far, thank you. I endeavor to provide more updates, more often, and welcome your ongoing support. Writing is one of the tools I’m using for my own personal recovery. Also, providing service, which is what I see this blog is hopefully doing – reaching out to fellow sufferers adds to the quality of my own recovery – and I hope yours too! 

Hi there, I’m Phil, a compulsive overeater and food addict, and I’ve been part of this fellowship for about five years now. During that time, I’ve found a solution to my insanity when it comes to eating. I’ve also changed my relationship with food and people. I’m now living the life I feel I deserved, which isn’t controlled by food. Even better, I now have a way of dealing with my anxiety, stress, fears, resentments, and anger. And that’s one of the reasons I’m sticking with OA as a way of life. 
 
When I came into OA, I was pretty desperate. I couldn’t stop eating certain foods. I felt completely addicted, as if there was nothing in this world that could stop me eating.

​I’d go out of my way to eat certain foods, specifically chocolate, candy, pizza, bread, chips, pastries, cookies, and donuts. Basically, anything that had the right combination of sugar, carbs, and fat. I’d eat to the point where I’d feel physically sick, and even then, I’d sometimes keep eating. It was as if I was possessed, like a zombie. I often felt as if someone or something had taken over my body and was forcing me to eat. Even though my rational brain was saying no, no, no, stop, you’re killing yourself. 
 
Since joining OA, I’ve come to learn that I’m allergic to certain foods, and I can’t eat them. They don’t give me hives or make me sneeze - but I do have an adverse reaction. For me, the reaction happens in my brain and my body. When I eat these foods, my body and my brain physically and mentally craves more - to the point where I can’t stop from starting, and when I start, I can’t stop. 
 
So how did I stop? Well, getting off the foods was straightforward at first. I just had to not eat them for one day. Then, when I got through that day, I just had to get through another, and another, until about a week had passed. The physical cravings subsided, and next, I had to tackle the mental obsession. To deal with that, I attended OA meetings, got a sponsor (by just asking someone who was available to sponsor), and worked the steps. 
 
The promises came true for me at first. Then, I stopped working the steps, thinking I was cured. Slowly, but surly, the cravings came back, and my insanity around food returned.

Second time around, it was harder, because I knew what I had to do, and I resisted. Mainly because the high I got from eating these foods felt like the most important thing in my life and I didn’t want to give that up. I didn’t want to be fat and miserable, but I also didn't want to give up the food. I literally wanted to have my cake and eat it! 
 
Getting back off the addictive foods for the second, third and possibly fourth time was incredibly hard for me. But I became so desperate again, that I felt there was no other path for me if I wanted to live a life that wasn’t misery and despair.

When I ate the foods, I felt good at first, but it was short lived. I needed to keep eating to feel good, but I never felt good for long. That’s now changed. Today, I feel good, and not because I’m stuffing my face with the foods that were killing me. 
 
Giving up certain foods seemed impossible back when I was eating them. Now, I know that one bite, and it’s game over. As long as I remain honest to myself, work the steps, trust in a power greater than myself, I’ll remain sane. My life is better for it and I know that this program of recovery works, because I’ve seen it, and experienced it for myself.

If you want to experience it too, try going to an OA meeting. You’ve got nothing to lose, except the weight!