Patience, tolerance, kindness and love

Hi everyone, I’m a compulsive overeater and food addict, working the steps, and taking it one day at a time. I’m sharing something that stood out to me today about how I need to be in life, which I am learning to accept on life’s terms. 
 
I woke up really early this morning, unable to get back to sleep. This isn’t uncommon for me—except rather trying to fight to get back to sleep, I got up and did my morning routine, consisting of daily prayers and meditation. 
 
During my morning routine, something stood out for me today—the need to practice patience, tolerance, kindness and love. This is something I remind myself about every single day when I wake up, because I say the prayer:  

“God, I pray that I be shown throughout the day what my next step is to be. I pray that I be given whatever I need to take care of such problems. I especially ask for freedom from self-will. I ask that I be given strength only if others will be helped. My creator, I ask that you show me the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness and love.

But for reason, the words at the end of this prayer stood out to me today. This sometimes happens when I take the time to listen to my higher power during my daily prayer and meditation. 
 
I will confess that I’ve never really considered myself someone who is that patient, tolerant, kind or loving. It pains me to say this because I do want to be all these things. But when I’m trying to control the world around me, I’m often frustrated, angry, and belligerent towards others when things don’t go my way. I find that when I’m not working the steps, I become judgemental and critical of others, and the person I show the least kindness to is myself. 
 
When I let go of all these things and turn my will and my life over to the care of a power greater than myself, things get easier. If you’re not a member of overeaters anonymous, or you’re new to program, you may think I sound a bit cuckoo. How can I turn my life over to a “higher power” and what is that anyway? Probably a topic for another blog post! But for today, what it means for me is that I need to just stop fighting the fight with myself. Much like I didn’t try and fight to get back to sleep this morning, I need to stop fighting with others too. 
 
This program of recovery from compulsive overeating and food addiction has taught me how to let go. It’s given me the practical tools I need to live my life in a way that was different than I how I was living it before. I feel like I now have a life that is much better than the one I had before, and for that I am grateful. 
 
What’s interesting is that my friends and family have now noticed a difference in me over a longer period of time. I am less argumentative, belligerent, and I probably come across as more calm, relaxed, and less stressed. That’s because truthfully, I am all those things. I feel like I finally have a solution to the problems that have been holding me back most of my life. 
 
So, it’s not always about the food for me. That’s a big part of it. But for today, it’s about letting go and reminding myself that I can demonstrate patience, tolerance, kindness and love.
 
Thanks for listening to me ramble on today. I’d love to hear your stories of patience, tolerance, kindness and love. You can use the comments below or share your own blog post on this site by emailing [email protected]. ​